Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
