Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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