you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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