I just pynch a tree in the face
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
