Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the condom got lost in my hair
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize