Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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