Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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