Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm both gender and math confused
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
