I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
