Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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