Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
