that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
