you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
