the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
