i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
