you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
