hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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