did you get engaged???
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Still dying that you shit outside
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
