So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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