I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
