everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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