this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
