Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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