Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
only you would photoshop your dick
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
