I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
