I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
