i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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