So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
