Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize