Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
