have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
