Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Blood and glitter go together right?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
