laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
