He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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