You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
