I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
