My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize