That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize