it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
