you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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