Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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