Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
