The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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