The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
