Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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