I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
