i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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