I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
