you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize