omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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