some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
