How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Panties = found
Randomize
