so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
