I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
