i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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