how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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