so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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