i permit you to call me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
bring money and cleavage
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
