I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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