I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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