READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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