Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this just has baby written all over it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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