I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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