Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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