the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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