she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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