Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The uberlube is also flammable
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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