can u get pink eye on your cock?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
