Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
