hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
