someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize