Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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