This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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