Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
