well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
