What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
