I need help removing her.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize