Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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