Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
