we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize